Thanks to all who have been so kind to us! Based on your encouragement, I have created a page to raise the money we've lost. Well, only for one year, but we'll figure out the rest.
If we exceed our goal, excess funds will go to future UCF students in similar need (after all other avenues have been exhausted, assumes they already applied for financial aid, etc.).
This is really freakin embarrassing, btw, but when life gives you lemons, well, I guess you call your friends and break out the vodka. Cheers!
Go to this page:
http://www.gofundme.com/c7fwv8
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Friday, May 23, 2014
If only people came with warning labels
Did you ever notice that everyone you encounter seems nice when you first meet, and it's only over time that their little oddities become apparent? Only after you've been chatting for some time do you detect something that just doesn't sit right. Then the floodgates open, and you stop really listening, as you mentally plan your exit.
If it's a potential paramour, you're hoping for the best and tend to dismiss the rest...those little red flags that pop up here and there. That is, until it is staring you in the face and impossible to ignore. If it's an old acquaintance, you may find the years can really change people, and we are blinded by nostalgia and how we remember them, which is not what they have become in actuality. You may
suddenly realize you've clearly overestimated them.
It's too bad people don't come with warning labels on their foreheads, you know, something like:
prison record, a restraining order, a history of cheating, mental illness, or financial troubles that were never revealed early on. Once you know them better, you no longer think things like their excessive drinking is cute, their lack of concern for anyone else's feelings is acceptable, or their racist jokes are all that funny. Or, for one of a million reasons, they're really just kind of a big jerk.
I prefer to believe that the human race is inherently good, but the older people get, the more their craziness, their mean streak, or general distastefulness comes out in small ways. To those of us innocently trying to forge new friendships, how do we discover the shortcomings people are either purposely or inadvertently hiding from us?
Unfortunately, everyone you meet has a use for you, which may not be on the same page with your vision. Perhaps they take advantage of your kindness and want something more from you - maybe it's money, or sex, an introduction to someone important, or just free psychotherapy sessions. Often, it's something that emotionally drains you, and it's not something you can easily figure out until you've been talking with someone for awhile. And, what then? What do you do when you realize you are getting zero benefit from this relationship or, worse yet, it becomes toxic?
From my own personal experience, it can take just a few days, or it can take months, before the crazy comes out, and someone's true self is revealed. Is it because I don't want to see the bad in people, or because they hide it really well? There's a reason why the charming yet scheming character of Hans in Frozen was so identifiable. Most of us has known a "hidden agenda Hans" at some point.
I naively dream of a place like Mayberry RFD, with tons of stable, reliable, loyal people who are always on the same wavelength in terms of being honest, faithful, and true, with no hidden agendas. Where is this magical place, and what's that like? If you know of a small town like this, please reply in the comments. My bags are already packed, and I'm ready to go!
If it's a potential paramour, you're hoping for the best and tend to dismiss the rest...those little red flags that pop up here and there. That is, until it is staring you in the face and impossible to ignore. If it's an old acquaintance, you may find the years can really change people, and we are blinded by nostalgia and how we remember them, which is not what they have become in actuality. You may
suddenly realize you've clearly overestimated them.It's too bad people don't come with warning labels on their foreheads, you know, something like:
- Caution: Asshole. Proceed at your own risk.
- Warning: Appearance of caring is not an indication of genuine interest
- May cause dizziness, nausea, and/or high blood pressure.
- Excessive whining in progress. May encourage addictive caretaker tendencies. Side effects include extreme boredom and resentment.
- Handle with care. Do not leave unsupervised, especially around your female friends.
- Contents under pressure...avoid exposure to alcohol, and watch out for mood swings.
- Small parts, not suitable for most women. Viewer discretion is advised.
- Beware: Prone to make you regret all the nice things you ever did for them.
prison record, a restraining order, a history of cheating, mental illness, or financial troubles that were never revealed early on. Once you know them better, you no longer think things like their excessive drinking is cute, their lack of concern for anyone else's feelings is acceptable, or their racist jokes are all that funny. Or, for one of a million reasons, they're really just kind of a big jerk.I prefer to believe that the human race is inherently good, but the older people get, the more their craziness, their mean streak, or general distastefulness comes out in small ways. To those of us innocently trying to forge new friendships, how do we discover the shortcomings people are either purposely or inadvertently hiding from us?
Unfortunately, everyone you meet has a use for you, which may not be on the same page with your vision. Perhaps they take advantage of your kindness and want something more from you - maybe it's money, or sex, an introduction to someone important, or just free psychotherapy sessions. Often, it's something that emotionally drains you, and it's not something you can easily figure out until you've been talking with someone for awhile. And, what then? What do you do when you realize you are getting zero benefit from this relationship or, worse yet, it becomes toxic?
I naively dream of a place like Mayberry RFD, with tons of stable, reliable, loyal people who are always on the same wavelength in terms of being honest, faithful, and true, with no hidden agendas. Where is this magical place, and what's that like? If you know of a small town like this, please reply in the comments. My bags are already packed, and I'm ready to go!
Monday, April 21, 2014
An Open Letter My Son On His Birthday
Well, here it is - your 18th birthday and high school graduation, and, lucky you, born in the era of social media, you get to be wished well (and embarrassed) by your mom in front of the whole world.
You likely have looked forward to this day for a long time - a day where you feel your independence is unquestionable. An age that labels you an "adult". A day where I’m supposed to let go and pat myself on the back for doing such a good job, while sending you off into the great unknown.
You're welcome. :)
I knew this day would come, but couldn't have predicted the speed with which it arrived. 18 years ago I almost lost you; in fact, the doctors thought I'd miscarried...all the signs were there. But there's an inexplicable bond between a mother and child - and I somehow felt that neither you, nor I, were willing to give up that easily, and 41 weeks later, you emerged a huge, healthy boy.
Back then I imagined the ways you might change the world, what your voice might sound like, and how you'd look, but I didn't even begin to dream big enough. I worried about you, as every mother does; your intellectual curiosity led you to wander when you'd take interest in everything, literally into the path of a bus when no one was watching. You sank like a stone when I tried to teach you to swim. But you also were installing software games (at the DOS prompt) at the tender age of two, and eventually accomplishing things most mere mortals will never even attempt. Over time, you've grown from the tentative toddler living in his big sister's shadow, to highly capable and confident man of the house.
Before you go, there are a few things you should know; I hope someday you’ll read this again with greater comprehension when your own child grows up right in front of your eyes, and you have to let go of that adorable chubby little hand, slowly at first...one small finger at a time...then all at once, with a swift invisible kick to the stomach. On that day, hopefully you’ll understand the depths of my unconditional love for you, and the mixed emotions of this very special day.
While sometimes you question my need to protect you, know that this same fierce nature ensured you were safe as you grew from helpless infant to the tall, strong, handsome young man you are now.
While you may be frustrated by the boundaries I've had to set, know that it’s taken twice the heartache and self-doubt to figure out how to do that, when it would have been easier to just let it go. I needed the courage of my convictions, even in the face of conflict, and without the support of another parent, and hope it would pay off and make you a better man when the time came.
If you feel that I'm impatient with you, just remember that I calmly, and with wonder, watched you go from a newborn unable to fend for yourself to eventually walking without my help, always letting you set the pace, and crawling beside you as you took your uncertain first steps.
While you may have been unhappy with some of my choices, know the effort and sacrifice it took to work long hours (ever guilty and missing you), and to be a disciplined saver to ensure your future to provide a comfortable and secure home. I hoped I'd serve as a role model for your future hard work, commitment, and fiscal responsibility.
While you might resent my strong-willed beliefs, understand that the same strength, tenacity, and determination helped me carry and deliver a 10 pound baby, as my mother lay dying, to rock you in my arms every time you were sick or afraid, and to get back on track, time after time, with every career setback.
When you wonder why I insist on keeping you so close, know that when you or your sister aren't with me, it feels like literally a part of my body has been amputated, and if not replaced soon, I just might just bleed out on the floor. Know that there are many disadvantaged children who would give everything for a parent who cares, and that my involvement in your affairs has afforded you safety, as well as amazing opportunities and adventures.
When you someday find the love of your life, know that it was when you fell asleep on my chest, lulled by the the sound of my heartbeat, that you first learned the meaning of unconditional love, and had I not loved you with the depth I have, you would be unable to love another woman with such fervor and respect.
While I may get on your nerves at times- trust me - someday you’ll wish you had just one more day with me.
I have been preparing you for years to leave my side, when I wanted nothing more than to keep you there...that is the tragic irony of motherhood. I have so many more things to say, but for now, just this: Your future is unlimited - choose wisely, and use your (considerable) powers for good. Don’t rush to be a grown-up -- just start by walking. I'll be there to catch you if you fall.
All my love,
"Mother"
Friday, February 7, 2014
Is looking back a bad idea?
I often wonder how life might have turned out if I'd made decisions differently. This usually happens when I get involved in something like politics or the theatre arts that I considered at one point being my destiny, before I realized they were not within my reach. Or so I thought at the time.
Do you ever torture yourself with shoulda/ woulda/ coulda? Looking back, I think I didn't give myself enough credit and, if I could do it again, there are things I'd change.
For instance, but am not a political campaign manager or strategist, but I considered it as a career option at one point, and can't help but be annoyed whenever I see lame political ads and poor decisions. I majored in Advertising in school, because I had a way with words in a promotional sort of way (novel writing is not for me - I can't finish reading one, much less writing one), but I never pictured myself working on Madison Ave. I didn't want to leave Florida for New York.
Ironically, I ended up doing just that three years after graduation, landed a job writing ad copy for Macy*s in Manhattan. I loved it, and walked away with a very full portfolio of work I'm still proud of to this day. So, in the end, all turned out alright.
But 5 years earlier, as a Sophomore in college, I realized that I wanted to go to law school. My father was busy with his shiny new family, and buying my half-sister (18 years my junior) a horse, (true story,) so I was told not to pursue graduate school, as there were 3 younger sisters to come after me that needed their college paid for, and there was no more money for me.
But if there's one thing that compels me to go for something, it's being told "No." Only when my dad says it, it's more like "Hell, NO"
So just before graduation, I actually went behind my father's back, registered for a Stanley Kaplan LSAT (Law School Admission Test) study course, snuck out for several weeks to take practice tests, and sat for the LSAT early one Saturday morning. Why? because all I ever wanted was to go to law school...not to be a lawyer necessarily, but to be able to go to Washington and make a meaningful contribution. I figured it was a great way to combine my knack for promotion with my passion for politics.
It's not as though I was sneaking out of the house to go drag racing...I wanted to go to Law School! But my father was not the kind to be toyed with - his decisions were final and not open to negotiation, and no one was permitted to express other opinions or do anything that had his complete backing.
I know, I know, you thought no one ever actually WANTS to be a lawyer, but I did! In my dreams, I become a senior campaign manager, or speech writer, or political analyst... with my adoring husband, George Stephanopoulis, by my side, and our 4 perfect children (2 boys, 2 girls), living in our historic Georgetown home.
Back on terra firma, I obviously ended up not going to law school, because aforementioned father (who is himself an attorney) refused to pay even one penny for my education, even after my grandmother (on my mom's side) offered to match any amount he would pay.
At the end of my Senior year, my dreams of law school had been plucked away from me...I sold my broken down car for parts, which armed me with the hefty sum of approximately $150 upon graduation. With no place to live, and a retail management job offer in hand, I had no choice but to take the job. And I watched my dreams of legal-ish career disappearing in the rear view window, as I went another path in life.
Since then, I've had a bumpy career path filled with corporate downsizings, layoffs, horrible bosses, and general misery interspersed with the occasional awesome supervisor and great employer that actually taps into my skills, and teaches me to do things I never knew I could.
Looking back, I could have done things differently, applied for 100% financial aid and done whatever it took to make my dream come true... but at the time, I didn't know that. I was told in no uncertain terms that was not an option, and I dutifully obeyed.
As you can tell, it still stings. It has taken many mistakes like the law school example in life to teach me what to look for, and how to choose, when I come to a fork in the road.
Sometimes, the road less traveled is the best choice. But sometimes, the road that's paved is the smarter move. I didn't like my first 3 jobs out of college, but eventually I found a wonderful writing position. And then, as often happens, life took me in another direction, one where the pay checks were larger.
I no longer write for a living. When I started blogging, I found myself staying up late at night (and I'm not a night owl,) and willing to toss aside anything else that needed to be done in lieu of writing again. There are few things in life I feel as passionate about, or as comfortable doing. If only someone would pay me to do it, life would be sweet!
In Jan 2014,I lost my job in yet another layoff (my fourth, at last count). Here I am at another fork in the road. Which direction will I go? Not sure yet, but when I decide, it will be my own decision, one based on lessons learned. If we don't look back occasionally, we'll never move forward, because history is doomed to repeat itself.
What would you do differently if you were given a second chance?
Do you ever torture yourself with shoulda/ woulda/ coulda? Looking back, I think I didn't give myself enough credit and, if I could do it again, there are things I'd change.
For instance, but am not a political campaign manager or strategist, but I considered it as a career option at one point, and can't help but be annoyed whenever I see lame political ads and poor decisions. I majored in Advertising in school, because I had a way with words in a promotional sort of way (novel writing is not for me - I can't finish reading one, much less writing one), but I never pictured myself working on Madison Ave. I didn't want to leave Florida for New York.
Ironically, I ended up doing just that three years after graduation, landed a job writing ad copy for Macy*s in Manhattan. I loved it, and walked away with a very full portfolio of work I'm still proud of to this day. So, in the end, all turned out alright.
But 5 years earlier, as a Sophomore in college, I realized that I wanted to go to law school. My father was busy with his shiny new family, and buying my half-sister (18 years my junior) a horse, (true story,) so I was told not to pursue graduate school, as there were 3 younger sisters to come after me that needed their college paid for, and there was no more money for me.
But if there's one thing that compels me to go for something, it's being told "No." Only when my dad says it, it's more like "Hell, NO"
So just before graduation, I actually went behind my father's back, registered for a Stanley Kaplan LSAT (Law School Admission Test) study course, snuck out for several weeks to take practice tests, and sat for the LSAT early one Saturday morning. Why? because all I ever wanted was to go to law school...not to be a lawyer necessarily, but to be able to go to Washington and make a meaningful contribution. I figured it was a great way to combine my knack for promotion with my passion for politics.
It's not as though I was sneaking out of the house to go drag racing...I wanted to go to Law School! But my father was not the kind to be toyed with - his decisions were final and not open to negotiation, and no one was permitted to express other opinions or do anything that had his complete backing.
I know, I know, you thought no one ever actually WANTS to be a lawyer, but I did! In my dreams, I become a senior campaign manager, or speech writer, or political analyst... with my adoring husband, George Stephanopoulis, by my side, and our 4 perfect children (2 boys, 2 girls), living in our historic Georgetown home.
Back on terra firma, I obviously ended up not going to law school, because aforementioned father (who is himself an attorney) refused to pay even one penny for my education, even after my grandmother (on my mom's side) offered to match any amount he would pay.
At the end of my Senior year, my dreams of law school had been plucked away from me...I sold my broken down car for parts, which armed me with the hefty sum of approximately $150 upon graduation. With no place to live, and a retail management job offer in hand, I had no choice but to take the job. And I watched my dreams of legal-ish career disappearing in the rear view window, as I went another path in life.
Since then, I've had a bumpy career path filled with corporate downsizings, layoffs, horrible bosses, and general misery interspersed with the occasional awesome supervisor and great employer that actually taps into my skills, and teaches me to do things I never knew I could.
Looking back, I could have done things differently, applied for 100% financial aid and done whatever it took to make my dream come true... but at the time, I didn't know that. I was told in no uncertain terms that was not an option, and I dutifully obeyed.
As you can tell, it still stings. It has taken many mistakes like the law school example in life to teach me what to look for, and how to choose, when I come to a fork in the road.
Sometimes, the road less traveled is the best choice. But sometimes, the road that's paved is the smarter move. I didn't like my first 3 jobs out of college, but eventually I found a wonderful writing position. And then, as often happens, life took me in another direction, one where the pay checks were larger.
I no longer write for a living. When I started blogging, I found myself staying up late at night (and I'm not a night owl,) and willing to toss aside anything else that needed to be done in lieu of writing again. There are few things in life I feel as passionate about, or as comfortable doing. If only someone would pay me to do it, life would be sweet!
In Jan 2014,I lost my job in yet another layoff (my fourth, at last count). Here I am at another fork in the road. Which direction will I go? Not sure yet, but when I decide, it will be my own decision, one based on lessons learned. If we don't look back occasionally, we'll never move forward, because history is doomed to repeat itself.
What would you do differently if you were given a second chance?
There ain't no party like a political party
Ever since Obama was first elected, I have felt the President is extremely well-intentioned but ill-advised, and needs
to surround himself with better strategists and political advisors. He seems to lack advisors who
would have guided him to do things more for public approval because, let's face it, it does matter what others think. The executive office is much more than just one man - it "takes a village," one that's filled with specialists in every department, from Defense to defending against your critics.
The Democrats did an amazing job working hard to get Obama into office, but they began making terrible mistakes, like focusing first on healthcare, ahead of the economy. Both were high priorities, for sure, and Obama has done the seemingly impossible, completely reversed the economic free-fall we were in when he took office, making this what history will likely show is the most dramatic economic recovery ever. This in spite of the most antagonistic Congress in recent memory trying their darndest to undo everything he's done. So this administration can, and should, be credited with amazing results!
But, IMHO, there was no higher priority in 2008 than the dismal Depression, and his advisors should have insisted that Obama attack it the minute he got into office. By prioritizing healthcare first, it made him look cavalier about the U.S. economy-which he is not- but image is everything. Add to that the extreme complexity of the subject matter of healthcare, and that's a recipe for discontent, any way you slice it.
His image suffered, his popularity plummeted, and that's one recovery that has not been made.
So, what else has the Democratic National Committee managed to blunder? Well, how about preparing candidates for office...Have you seen those Hillary Clinton ads, "Ready for Hillary" - that is just about the worst presidential campaign slogan I have ever heard, I mean, a sixth grader could be more creative (no offense to sixth graders).
Yes, I can only imagine how much money was spent to come up with that little nugget of marketing genius. Not much, apparently. It's a slogan more suited to a middle school student council election.
I thought maybe those ads were a joke - a spoof- but sadly, the ads indeed were sponsored by the DNC. Worse yet, the photograph they chose to use of her from the tens of thousands of images they have at their disposal, shows her in this cheesy pose, pointing her finger and winking. Winking?! Really?
Sadly, Hillary Clinton may in fact be an outstanding candidate for president, but in America, it takes more than great potential to get elected and, with this team, she's got her work cut out for her.
Recently, Obama supporters were mailed and asked to Tweet the following:
"I'm getting President Obama's back -- will you join me?"
Not only is this grammatically painful, it doesn't provide a hash tag. A hash tag, people! It's Twitter. Welcome to Social Media 101, please take out your textbooks (and smash them against your head). Attention marketing team: #YoureFired.
Anyone who has any concept of social media understands how buzz is built. Hash tags expand your reach, the chance that your brand (including your personal brand) will be exposed to others. It's not rocket science. I may not be the greatest marketer who ever lived, but I kind of expect the folks handling the most important campaign in the civilized world to be.
Anyway, I digress...
Every now and then, I just need to vent about this. I like lots of things, but there are only a handful I can get passionate about. I get fired up about politics. I am thrilled to live in a country where you can have and express opinions freely.
Sometimes that backfires on us. There's freedom of expression, and then there's disrespect.
Where I come from, you show respect for your elders, your senior management, and pretty much everyone you come into contact with. You don't go around trash-talking people that have way more education, experience, and depth than you do. You don't smirk and roll your eyes during a State of the Union address, like our current (Republican) Speaker of the House did recently for the whole world to see.
I really like Barack Obama. I think the man is brilliant, trustworthy, and inspiring. Is he perfect? No. Are you? Okay then.
But in light of the old men he's followed during my generation- fun young upstarts like Johnson, Nixon, Reagan and Bush, he is lightyears ahead of most of his predecessors. He's the first US President who gets us, who actually seems to be one of us, and who will stand up for us, at his own peril.
While the Democrats have made their share of faux pas, Republicans have just been, well, faux...take, for example the fake ads they've created to try to lure Democratic voters. CNN reported that there are no less than 15 deceptive websites parading as Dems which are actually created by Republicans. Now, that's pretty crappy in my book.
When asked, a Republican leader replied they are "proud" of their faux web sites. I know that not all Republicans are that sketchy and sneaky (or, as they like to call it, "clever"), but I'd be pretty damn embarrassed and disgusted with the Democrats if they did that kind of thing. So I hope they are going to take the high road in all this.
The ridiculous partisanship and political infighting in the U.S. is at an all-time high - or low, depending how you look at it. We need to stop fighting with each other so we can take on the world. United we stand, divided we fall.
#America
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