If only people came with warning labels

Did you ever notice that everyone you encounter seems nice when you first meet, and it's only over time that their little oddities become apparent? Only after you've been chatting for some time do you detect something that just doesn't sit right. Then the floodgates open, and you stop really listening, as you mentally plan your exit.

If it's a potential paramour, you're hoping for the best and tend to dismiss the rest...those little red flags that pop up here and there. That is, until it is staring you in the face and impossible to ignore. If it's an old acquaintance, you may find the years can really change people, and we are blinded by nostalgia and how we remember them, which is not what they have become in actuality. You may suddenly realize you've clearly overestimated them.

It's too bad people don't come with warning labels on their foreheads, you know, something like:

• Caution: Asshole. Proceed at your own risk.
• Warning: Appearance of caring is not an indication of genuine interest
• May cause dizziness, nausea, and/or high blood pressure.
• Excessive whining in progress. May encourage addictive caretaker tendencies. Side effects include extreme boredom and resentment.
• Handle with care. Do not leave unsupervised, especially around your female friends.
• Contents under pressure...avoid exposure to alcohol, and watch out for mood swings. 
• Small parts, not suitable for most women. Viewer discretion is advised.
• Beware: Prone to make you regret all the nice things you ever did for them.

Now, none of us is perfect and, in reality, everyone we meet is a flawed individual, with warped opinions, idiosyncracies, "baggage" and their own moral code, which could be in stark contrast to your own. You could discover, months down the road, that your new friend simply has political or religious beliefs that offend you. Perhaps they have a bigger concern, like a huge ego, an embarrassing past, a prison record, a restraining order, a history of cheating, mental illness, or financial troubles that were never revealed early on. Once you know them better, you no longer think things like their excessive drinking is cute, their lack of concern for anyone else's feelings is acceptable, or their racist jokes are all that funny. Or, for one of a million reasons, they're really just kind of a big jerk.
I prefer to believe that the human race is inherently good, but the older people get, the more their craziness, their mean streak, or general distastefulness comes out in small ways. To those of us innocently trying to forge new friendships, how do we discover the shortcomings people are either purposely or inadvertently hiding from us?

Unfortunately, everyone you meet has a use for you, which may not be on the same page with your vision. Perhaps they take advantage of your kindness and want something more from you - maybe it's money, or sex, an introduction to someone important, or just free psychotherapy sessions. Often, it's something that emotionally drains you, and it's not something you can easily figure out until you've been talking with someone for awhile. And, what then? What do you do when you realize you are getting zero benefit from this relationship or, worse yet, it becomes toxic?

From my own personal experience, it can take just a few days, or it can take months, before the crazy comes out, and someone's true self is revealed. Is it because I don't want to see the bad in people, or because they hide it really well? There's a reason why the charming yet scheming character of Hans in Frozen was so identifiable. Most of us has known a "hidden agenda Hans" at some point.

I naively dream of a place like Mayberry RFD, with tons of stable, reliable, loyal people who are always on the same wavelength in terms of being honest, faithful, and true, with no hidden agendas. Where is this magical place, and what's that like? If you know of a small town like this, please reply in the comments. My bags are already packed, and I'm ready to go!