I often wonder how life might have turned out if I'd made decisions differently. This usually happens when I get involved in something like politics or the theatre arts that I considered at one point being my destiny, before I realized they were not within my reach. Or so I thought at the time.
Do you ever torture yourself with shoulda/ woulda/ coulda? Looking back, I think I didn't give myself enough credit and, if I could do it again, there are things I'd change.
For instance, but am not a political campaign manager or strategist, but I considered it as a
career option at one point, and can't help but be annoyed whenever I see lame political ads and poor decisions. I majored in Advertising in school, because I
had a way with words in a promotional sort of way (novel writing is not
for me - I can't finish reading one, much less writing one), but I
never pictured myself working on Madison Ave. I didn't want to leave
Florida for New York.
Ironically, I ended up doing just
that three years after graduation, landed a job writing ad copy for Macy*s
in Manhattan. I loved it, and walked away with a very full portfolio of
work I'm still proud of to this day. So, in the end, all turned out
alright.
But 5 years earlier, as a Sophomore in college, I realized that I wanted to go to law school. My father
was busy with his shiny new family, and buying my half-sister (18 years my junior) a horse, (true story,) so I
was told not to pursue graduate school, as there were 3 younger sisters
to come after me that needed their college paid for, and there was no
more money for me.
But if there's one thing that compels me to go for something, it's being told "No." Only when my dad says it, it's more like "Hell, NO"
So
just before graduation, I actually went behind my father's back,
registered for a Stanley
Kaplan LSAT (Law School Admission Test) study course, snuck out for several weeks to take practice tests, and sat for the LSAT early one Saturday morning. Why? because all I ever wanted was to go to law school...not to be a lawyer
necessarily, but to be able to go to Washington and make a meaningful
contribution. I figured it was a great way to combine my knack for
promotion with my passion for politics.
It's not as though I was sneaking out of the house to go drag racing...I wanted to go to Law School! But my father was not the kind to be toyed with - his decisions were final and not open to negotiation, and no one was permitted to express other opinions or do anything that had his complete backing.
I know, I
know, you thought no one ever actually WANTS to be a lawyer, but I did!
In my dreams, I become a senior campaign manager, or speech writer, or
political analyst... with my adoring husband, George Stephanopoulis, by
my side, and our 4 perfect children (2 boys, 2 girls), living in our historic Georgetown
home.
Back on terra firma, I obviously ended up not going to law
school, because aforementioned father (who is himself an attorney)
refused to pay even one penny for my education, even after my
grandmother (on my mom's side) offered to match any amount he would pay.
At the end of my Senior year, my dreams of law school had been plucked away from me...I sold my broken down car for parts, which armed me with the hefty sum
of approximately $150 upon graduation. With no place to live, and a retail management job
offer in hand, I had no choice but to take the job. And I watched my
dreams of legal-ish career disappearing in the rear view window, as I
went another path in life.
Since then, I've had a bumpy career path filled with corporate downsizings, layoffs, horrible bosses, and general misery interspersed with the occasional awesome supervisor and great employer that actually taps into my skills, and teaches me to do things I never knew I could.
Looking back, I could have done things differently, applied for 100% financial aid and done whatever it took to make my dream come true... but at the time, I didn't know that. I was told in no uncertain terms that was not an option, and I dutifully obeyed.
As you can tell, it still stings. It has taken many mistakes like the law school example in life to teach me what to look for, and how to choose, when I come to a fork in the road.
Sometimes, the road less traveled is the best choice. But sometimes, the road that's paved is the smarter move. I didn't like my first 3 jobs out of college, but eventually I found a wonderful writing position. And then, as often happens, life took me in another direction, one where the pay checks were larger.
I no longer write for a living. When I started blogging, I found myself staying up late at night (and I'm not a night owl,) and willing to toss aside anything else that needed to be done in lieu of writing again. There are few things in life I feel as passionate about, or as comfortable doing. If only someone would pay me to do it, life would be sweet!
In Jan 2014,I lost my job in yet another layoff (my fourth, at last count). Here I am at another fork in the road. Which direction will I go? Not sure yet, but when I decide, it will be my own decision, one based on lessons learned. If we don't look back occasionally, we'll never move forward, because history is doomed to repeat itself.
What would you do differently if you were given a second chance?
Friday, February 7, 2014
There ain't no party like a political party
Ever since Obama was first elected, I have felt the President is extremely well-intentioned but ill-advised, and needs
to surround himself with better strategists and political advisors. He seems to lack advisors who
would have guided him to do things more for public approval because, let's face it, it does matter what others think. The executive office is much more than just one man - it "takes a village," one that's filled with specialists in every department, from Defense to defending against your critics.
The Democrats did an amazing job working hard to get Obama into office, but they began making terrible mistakes, like focusing first on healthcare, ahead of the economy. Both were high priorities, for sure, and Obama has done the seemingly impossible, completely reversed the economic free-fall we were in when he took office, making this what history will likely show is the most dramatic economic recovery ever. This in spite of the most antagonistic Congress in recent memory trying their darndest to undo everything he's done. So this administration can, and should, be credited with amazing results!
But, IMHO, there was no higher priority in 2008 than the dismal Depression, and his advisors should have insisted that Obama attack it the minute he got into office. By prioritizing healthcare first, it made him look cavalier about the U.S. economy-which he is not- but image is everything. Add to that the extreme complexity of the subject matter of healthcare, and that's a recipe for discontent, any way you slice it.
His image suffered, his popularity plummeted, and that's one recovery that has not been made.
So, what else has the Democratic National Committee managed to blunder? Well, how about preparing candidates for office...Have you seen those Hillary Clinton ads, "Ready for Hillary" - that is just about the worst presidential campaign slogan I have ever heard, I mean, a sixth grader could be more creative (no offense to sixth graders).
Yes, I can only imagine how much money was spent to come up with that little nugget of marketing genius. Not much, apparently. It's a slogan more suited to a middle school student council election.
I thought maybe those ads were a joke - a spoof- but sadly, the ads indeed were sponsored by the DNC. Worse yet, the photograph they chose to use of her from the tens of thousands of images they have at their disposal, shows her in this cheesy pose, pointing her finger and winking. Winking?! Really?
Sadly, Hillary Clinton may in fact be an outstanding candidate for president, but in America, it takes more than great potential to get elected and, with this team, she's got her work cut out for her.
Recently, Obama supporters were mailed and asked to Tweet the following:
"I'm getting President Obama's back -- will you join me?"
Not only is this grammatically painful, it doesn't provide a hash tag. A hash tag, people! It's Twitter. Welcome to Social Media 101, please take out your textbooks (and smash them against your head). Attention marketing team: #YoureFired.
Anyone who has any concept of social media understands how buzz is built. Hash tags expand your reach, the chance that your brand (including your personal brand) will be exposed to others. It's not rocket science. I may not be the greatest marketer who ever lived, but I kind of expect the folks handling the most important campaign in the civilized world to be.
Anyway, I digress...
Every now and then, I just need to vent about this. I like lots of things, but there are only a handful I can get passionate about. I get fired up about politics. I am thrilled to live in a country where you can have and express opinions freely.
Sometimes that backfires on us. There's freedom of expression, and then there's disrespect.
Where I come from, you show respect for your elders, your senior management, and pretty much everyone you come into contact with. You don't go around trash-talking people that have way more education, experience, and depth than you do. You don't smirk and roll your eyes during a State of the Union address, like our current (Republican) Speaker of the House did recently for the whole world to see.
I really like Barack Obama. I think the man is brilliant, trustworthy, and inspiring. Is he perfect? No. Are you? Okay then.
But in light of the old men he's followed during my generation- fun young upstarts like Johnson, Nixon, Reagan and Bush, he is lightyears ahead of most of his predecessors. He's the first US President who gets us, who actually seems to be one of us, and who will stand up for us, at his own peril.
While the Democrats have made their share of faux pas, Republicans have just been, well, faux...take, for example the fake ads they've created to try to lure Democratic voters. CNN reported that there are no less than 15 deceptive websites parading as Dems which are actually created by Republicans. Now, that's pretty crappy in my book.
When asked, a Republican leader replied they are "proud" of their faux web sites. I know that not all Republicans are that sketchy and sneaky (or, as they like to call it, "clever"), but I'd be pretty damn embarrassed and disgusted with the Democrats if they did that kind of thing. So I hope they are going to take the high road in all this.
The ridiculous partisanship and political infighting in the U.S. is at an all-time high - or low, depending how you look at it. We need to stop fighting with each other so we can take on the world. United we stand, divided we fall.
#America
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Why You Should Be Outraged By College Tuition Costs
Raise your hand if you know how much the price of a college education in the United States has risen in the past 20 years (since around the time I was in school).
Would you believe me if I told you it has increased over 800% since 1980? The consumer price index rose just 250% in the same time period.
New home prices, which skyrocketed in the early 2000's, rose just 325% - a mere fraction of the tuition increase:
How many other products or services do
you know of that can increase at such a rate, when the product offering
itself has not improved? Who would still buy a product without any discernible improvements, whose price has increased at more than triple the rate of inflation? Think this doesn't matter to you? Read on.
The price of a college education, which has become mandatory in our competitive society, has increased exponentially in recent years. However, the quality of the education has not improved. Something is wrong when the same good or service increases in cost beyond the rate of inflation. Have class sizes decreased? Well, no. Have they come up with some measurable improvement, such as huge leaps in post-graduate income and job placement ratios? Nope.
If the price of a car was $10k last year, and this year the price is raised to $14k, you could choose not to buy it. You'll buy something else, or continue driving your old clunker for awhile longer. But when it comes to college tuition, we don't have that choice....and, schools know it. It's the most obvious, and yet most undiscovered, price-fixing scheme monopoly in the US economy.
Every year millions of students graduate high school and head off to college. In basic economic terms, there is a constant steady stream of demand. So, it's a seller's market. There are too many buyers. The schools are the sellers and we citizens are the unfortunate buyers.
If this country is to remain competitive in the world, we need educated citizens. If we price ourselves out of the market, kids will continue to drop out or avoid college altogether. How does that benefit our country as a whole?
To add insult to injury, out-of-state tuition is typically three times the in-state rate at public universities. Why?
Are the out-of-state students getting a better education? Of course not, they get exactly what the in-state students get. So why charge them exhorbitant amounts for the same product? How do they justify charging that kind of money and still call themselves "public" non-profit institutions?
Why do we not treat education like a commodity, like everything else? Unlike everything else in this free market society, there is no real competition. The only choice you have is to fork over the cash, or be destined for a lifetime of low wages (studies show the impact of college to be far reaching, as grads potentially earn 10 times more in their lifetime than those with only a high school education).
As a hard working single mom I, like most Americans, struggle to make ends meet on my income. I don't have other resources. While many of my friends are sending their children to the out of state schools of their choice, I don't have that option.
Based largely on his stellar SAT score, my child has gotten lots of recruitment letters from top notch schools around the country offering to waive the admission fee but, even if he could get in, what's the point? We can't afford it.
In the US, the average tuition for a public university ranges anywhere from $8,000-$17,000 year and private is typically $30,000 to over $45,000 per year. Imagine graduating with $180,000 worth of debt, when the average income is around $23k. Tuition is more affordable in Canada. In England, too. And the Netherlands. And France. And New Zealand. And Germany. And Sweden. I think you can see where I'm going with this.
It's become an inverse relationship: as the cost of an education has risen, incomes have fallen and job growth has declined, making the ability to repay money borrowed for college increasingly difficult, if not impossible.
Our system has reached the point of diminishing returns; we've flooded the job market with qualified individuals for which there is not enough supply of well-paying professional jobs. So the return on investment of a college education continues to dwindle, as costs continue to rise.
To be fair, our economy and job outlook are looking far better than 5 years ago, and if we stay along this path, things will continue to improve. But that still does not justify the explosive increase in tuition costs, for which there is no rational explanation. The recession caused a dramatic drop in gifts, investments and endowments — these funds are still well below what they were in 2000. But should our educational system really by funded by individuals? Why, then, am I paying so much in taxes?
Families in France were recently observed protesting in the streets over the cost of college rising, demanding a tuition freeze. Why are we not rising up in the same fashion?
If you think it doesn't matter to you, because you don't have college aged kids, just remember that the future of our country and it's status as a world leader rests on the shoulders, and wallets, of the young people of today.
Your comments, as always, are welcome
Would you believe me if I told you it has increased over 800% since 1980? The consumer price index rose just 250% in the same time period.
New home prices, which skyrocketed in the early 2000's, rose just 325% - a mere fraction of the tuition increase:
The price of a college education, which has become mandatory in our competitive society, has increased exponentially in recent years. However, the quality of the education has not improved. Something is wrong when the same good or service increases in cost beyond the rate of inflation. Have class sizes decreased? Well, no. Have they come up with some measurable improvement, such as huge leaps in post-graduate income and job placement ratios? Nope.
If the price of a car was $10k last year, and this year the price is raised to $14k, you could choose not to buy it. You'll buy something else, or continue driving your old clunker for awhile longer. But when it comes to college tuition, we don't have that choice....and, schools know it. It's the most obvious, and yet most undiscovered, price-fixing scheme monopoly in the US economy.
Every year millions of students graduate high school and head off to college. In basic economic terms, there is a constant steady stream of demand. So, it's a seller's market. There are too many buyers. The schools are the sellers and we citizens are the unfortunate buyers.
If this country is to remain competitive in the world, we need educated citizens. If we price ourselves out of the market, kids will continue to drop out or avoid college altogether. How does that benefit our country as a whole?
To add insult to injury, out-of-state tuition is typically three times the in-state rate at public universities. Why?
Are the out-of-state students getting a better education? Of course not, they get exactly what the in-state students get. So why charge them exhorbitant amounts for the same product? How do they justify charging that kind of money and still call themselves "public" non-profit institutions?
Why do we not treat education like a commodity, like everything else? Unlike everything else in this free market society, there is no real competition. The only choice you have is to fork over the cash, or be destined for a lifetime of low wages (studies show the impact of college to be far reaching, as grads potentially earn 10 times more in their lifetime than those with only a high school education).
As a hard working single mom I, like most Americans, struggle to make ends meet on my income. I don't have other resources. While many of my friends are sending their children to the out of state schools of their choice, I don't have that option.
Based largely on his stellar SAT score, my child has gotten lots of recruitment letters from top notch schools around the country offering to waive the admission fee but, even if he could get in, what's the point? We can't afford it.
In the US, the average tuition for a public university ranges anywhere from $8,000-$17,000 year and private is typically $30,000 to over $45,000 per year. Imagine graduating with $180,000 worth of debt, when the average income is around $23k. Tuition is more affordable in Canada. In England, too. And the Netherlands. And France. And New Zealand. And Germany. And Sweden. I think you can see where I'm going with this.
It's become an inverse relationship: as the cost of an education has risen, incomes have fallen and job growth has declined, making the ability to repay money borrowed for college increasingly difficult, if not impossible.
Our system has reached the point of diminishing returns; we've flooded the job market with qualified individuals for which there is not enough supply of well-paying professional jobs. So the return on investment of a college education continues to dwindle, as costs continue to rise.
To be fair, our economy and job outlook are looking far better than 5 years ago, and if we stay along this path, things will continue to improve. But that still does not justify the explosive increase in tuition costs, for which there is no rational explanation. The recession caused a dramatic drop in gifts, investments and endowments — these funds are still well below what they were in 2000. But should our educational system really by funded by individuals? Why, then, am I paying so much in taxes?
Families in France were recently observed protesting in the streets over the cost of college rising, demanding a tuition freeze. Why are we not rising up in the same fashion?
If you think it doesn't matter to you, because you don't have college aged kids, just remember that the future of our country and it's status as a world leader rests on the shoulders, and wallets, of the young people of today.
Your comments, as always, are welcome
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Thoughtful Thursday
The solid oak tree was once just a nut that stood its ground.
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes_of_the_day.html#W4ubkGQJfjxdApFF.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes_of_the_day.html#W4ubkGQJfjxdApFF.99
Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes_of_the_day.html#W4ubkGQJfjxdApFF.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes_of_the_day.html#W4ubkGQJfjxdApFF.99
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
What if the US government shut down? Nah, that would never happen!
Due to the U.S. government shutdown, this blog will be temporarily suspended. BRB.
Just kidding.
Unfortunately - or fortunately - I am not a federal employee. And so, the blog must go on!
For those of you who are not U.S.-based, let me just apologize for our moronic society. In case you were wondering if we individual American citizens were part of this whole scheme, let me assure you, we are merely onlookers in the train wreck of partisan politics. We stand by and watch the numnuts in Washington in disbelief, just like the rest of you.
Don't get me wrong - I am a US citizen, and proud of it. America is a great place to grow up. While I admire many countries around the world, and enjoy visiting as many as I can afford, I have to say I value my freedom way too much to ever part with it.
That said, it can sometimes be kind of embarrassing to be an "obnoxious American". This would be one of those times.
Yes, our noble, valiant, elected officials have once again seen fit to throw a tantrum more suitable for a pre-school than the hallowed halls of Congress.
Lawmakers are there to make law, and I for one am pretty p-ssed off that they aren't doing so right now and many are, in fact, doing everything in their power to block the Democratic system that they enjoy the fruits of. The folks responsible for the government shut down are being paid right now. That's right. They've brought the entire country to a screeching halt, and aren't even being docked a day's pay. State parks are closed. Many federal employees were sent home/furloughed. American monuments and museums were closed, even those outside of the US.
(Many exemptions were made to ensure public safety, such as military and FAA, but regardless, it's a big mess.)
For a complete list of who is affected, check out
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/09/politics/government-shutdown-impact/.
To quote a popular American newscaster:
"I believe it's terrorism: This is the first time I've seen a political party, or even a fraction of it, say that their number-one-goal is to shutdown the American government, kill a bill that's already been passed by Congress, and refuse to pay bills already run up by Congress in an attempt to basically risk default."
- MSNBC's Chris Matthews, former press secretary for House Speaker Tip O'Neill, former speechwriter for President Carter
Not to be outdone, the Brits have their own interpretation, as the kings of understatement, and a BBC reporter may have said it best: "It's all quite bonkers".
Just kidding.
Unfortunately - or fortunately - I am not a federal employee. And so, the blog must go on!
For those of you who are not U.S.-based, let me just apologize for our moronic society. In case you were wondering if we individual American citizens were part of this whole scheme, let me assure you, we are merely onlookers in the train wreck of partisan politics. We stand by and watch the numnuts in Washington in disbelief, just like the rest of you.
Don't get me wrong - I am a US citizen, and proud of it. America is a great place to grow up. While I admire many countries around the world, and enjoy visiting as many as I can afford, I have to say I value my freedom way too much to ever part with it.
That said, it can sometimes be kind of embarrassing to be an "obnoxious American". This would be one of those times.
Yes, our noble, valiant, elected officials have once again seen fit to throw a tantrum more suitable for a pre-school than the hallowed halls of Congress.
Lawmakers are there to make law, and I for one am pretty p-ssed off that they aren't doing so right now and many are, in fact, doing everything in their power to block the Democratic system that they enjoy the fruits of. The folks responsible for the government shut down are being paid right now. That's right. They've brought the entire country to a screeching halt, and aren't even being docked a day's pay. State parks are closed. Many federal employees were sent home/furloughed. American monuments and museums were closed, even those outside of the US.
(Many exemptions were made to ensure public safety, such as military and FAA, but regardless, it's a big mess.)
For a complete list of who is affected, check out
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/09/politics/government-shutdown-impact/.
To quote a popular American newscaster:
"I believe it's terrorism: This is the first time I've seen a political party, or even a fraction of it, say that their number-one-goal is to shutdown the American government, kill a bill that's already been passed by Congress, and refuse to pay bills already run up by Congress in an attempt to basically risk default."
- MSNBC's Chris Matthews, former press secretary for House Speaker Tip O'Neill, former speechwriter for President Carter
Not to be outdone, the Brits have their own interpretation, as the kings of understatement, and a BBC reporter may have said it best: "It's all quite bonkers".
Why the Ultimate Blog challenge?
Those who know me know how full my life is, and that I'd be crazy to take on one more thing - my whole house of cards life might collapse into a pile of missed appointments and financial ruin. Why, then, would I sign up for a contest that requires me to update my blog for 31 days straight? Something so time-consuming, so demanding, requiring so much of that "C" word I'm not fond of...c...c..commitment?
I had no other choice.
Did I mention that I lead an extremely busy life? I'm a single mom with a very demanding very full time job. I work from home, which sounds awesome (and is), but often means I'm working well into the evenings long after most people have packed up and headed home for the day.
As if that wasn't enough, I also undertook the purchase of a short sale and moving my family recently, which was the real estate equivalent of the Olympic Decathlon. Every day for 6 months I had to find some more magic to pull out of my - hat - to keep the sale afloat. In the end, I won, but man did I take a beating, and there wasn't not enough Gatorade in the world (or alcohol, for that matter) that could make it better. I emerged black and blue, but a homeowner, and am still unpacking boxes.
Of course, that comes with its own set of problems - I've just bought a short sale. What was I thinking? This is a place the owners let run into the ground - they were getting divorced anyway, and clearly they decided about 2 years ago to just let it deteriorate around them.
You can imagine the condition the home was in and what has been required to get it into shape. It's a long, expensive, ongoing process of searching for service providers I can make a deal with, which results in workmen parading through my home and emptying my bank account, while I try to emit brilliance on a conference call in the next room. I'm also a Realtor on the side, so during that time I was also taking my continuing education classes to maintain my license, and pass an exam. Exams aren't my strong point, which is why I'm much happier working than being a student.
But wait, there's more! My son is involved in musical theater, a band, and a small local television show, plus he's in his senior year so we are neck deep in college application process which, trust me, is way more involved than when you or I were in school.
I consistently maintain a 5-inch high pile of bills to be paid, right to the 3-inch high pile of calls I should have made 6 weeks ago. My house hasn't been fully cleaned since the Clinton administration.
There's just no one to delegate to. As a single parent, with no friends or family nearby, it all falls on me. Someone needs to go to the market, fix dinner, put gas in the car, go to the dry cleaner, clean up, plan all the family events, make all the doctor appointments, plan vacations, buy gifts, make calls, figure out who needs to be driven where, when, and how we are going to do that when I've already rescheduled the orthodontist, the haircut, and the shoe repair four times, now, for 3 different people in the household, call the cable company again to report a problem, shop for furniture, help with homework and audition prep, the list goes on....I'm exhausted just typing about it.
As a marketer, I've always encouraged my clients to blog. And yet, for obvious reasons, I never got around to starting my own blog as an example. Oh, I tried, boy did I try! But all I'm left with is a long string of incomplete sentences for all the attempts I made before getting interrupted by, well, life.
I'm trying to be a good role model for my kids, who are so talented and hilarious that I insist they should have YouTube channels, and every time they start to tell me this or that, I screech- "Don't tell me, vlog about it"! They laugh and promptly ignore me and continue blurting out the latest, newest, coolest thing they must fill me in on or they will just burst! I love my kids. Not only are they my heart and soul, but an endless source of entertainment.
At one point, I lost my job and long-term boyfriend, I suddenly had some unexpected time on my hands - I finally promised myself I would start a blog - FINALLY - I would set aside some "me" time every day to share with the world my adventures and misadventures.
And here, just 6 short years later, it is! In the end, I knew that the only way I was going to do it is if someone held a virtual gun to my head, or there was a cash prize, or chocolate involved. I really just needed a team, a cause, and a more formalized methodology (there goes that Business Analyst in me again) - I'm one of dozens (maybe hundreds?) of other bloggers out there who are rising to the challenge. You can read more about it at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/UltimateBlogChallenge
While I can't promise each day will be Tolstoy, I will do my best to post something interesting, or at least something fun. Or at least...something.
As I type this, I've had no less than 36 reminders pop up from my Outlook calendar which I manage to ignore like a champ.
Not now... I'm blogging!
I hope this motivates you to do something you have been putting off, too...if so, tell me about it in the Comments. I invite you to join me, and I hope you enjoy.
I am up for the challenge, if you are. :)
I had no other choice.
Did I mention that I lead an extremely busy life? I'm a single mom with a very demanding very full time job. I work from home, which sounds awesome (and is), but often means I'm working well into the evenings long after most people have packed up and headed home for the day.
As if that wasn't enough, I also undertook the purchase of a short sale and moving my family recently, which was the real estate equivalent of the Olympic Decathlon. Every day for 6 months I had to find some more magic to pull out of my - hat - to keep the sale afloat. In the end, I won, but man did I take a beating, and there wasn't not enough Gatorade in the world (or alcohol, for that matter) that could make it better. I emerged black and blue, but a homeowner, and am still unpacking boxes.
Of course, that comes with its own set of problems - I've just bought a short sale. What was I thinking? This is a place the owners let run into the ground - they were getting divorced anyway, and clearly they decided about 2 years ago to just let it deteriorate around them.
You can imagine the condition the home was in and what has been required to get it into shape. It's a long, expensive, ongoing process of searching for service providers I can make a deal with, which results in workmen parading through my home and emptying my bank account, while I try to emit brilliance on a conference call in the next room. I'm also a Realtor on the side, so during that time I was also taking my continuing education classes to maintain my license, and pass an exam. Exams aren't my strong point, which is why I'm much happier working than being a student.
But wait, there's more! My son is involved in musical theater, a band, and a small local television show, plus he's in his senior year so we are neck deep in college application process which, trust me, is way more involved than when you or I were in school.
I consistently maintain a 5-inch high pile of bills to be paid, right to the 3-inch high pile of calls I should have made 6 weeks ago. My house hasn't been fully cleaned since the Clinton administration.
There's just no one to delegate to. As a single parent, with no friends or family nearby, it all falls on me. Someone needs to go to the market, fix dinner, put gas in the car, go to the dry cleaner, clean up, plan all the family events, make all the doctor appointments, plan vacations, buy gifts, make calls, figure out who needs to be driven where, when, and how we are going to do that when I've already rescheduled the orthodontist, the haircut, and the shoe repair four times, now, for 3 different people in the household, call the cable company again to report a problem, shop for furniture, help with homework and audition prep, the list goes on....I'm exhausted just typing about it.
As a marketer, I've always encouraged my clients to blog. And yet, for obvious reasons, I never got around to starting my own blog as an example. Oh, I tried, boy did I try! But all I'm left with is a long string of incomplete sentences for all the attempts I made before getting interrupted by, well, life.
I'm trying to be a good role model for my kids, who are so talented and hilarious that I insist they should have YouTube channels, and every time they start to tell me this or that, I screech- "Don't tell me, vlog about it"! They laugh and promptly ignore me and continue blurting out the latest, newest, coolest thing they must fill me in on or they will just burst! I love my kids. Not only are they my heart and soul, but an endless source of entertainment.
At one point, I lost my job and long-term boyfriend, I suddenly had some unexpected time on my hands - I finally promised myself I would start a blog - FINALLY - I would set aside some "me" time every day to share with the world my adventures and misadventures.
And here, just 6 short years later, it is! In the end, I knew that the only way I was going to do it is if someone held a virtual gun to my head, or there was a cash prize, or chocolate involved. I really just needed a team, a cause, and a more formalized methodology (there goes that Business Analyst in me again) - I'm one of dozens (maybe hundreds?) of other bloggers out there who are rising to the challenge. You can read more about it at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/UltimateBlogChallenge
While I can't promise each day will be Tolstoy, I will do my best to post something interesting, or at least something fun. Or at least...something.
As I type this, I've had no less than 36 reminders pop up from my Outlook calendar which I manage to ignore like a champ.
Not now... I'm blogging!
I hope this motivates you to do something you have been putting off, too...if so, tell me about it in the Comments. I invite you to join me, and I hope you enjoy.
I am up for the challenge, if you are. :)
Monday, September 30, 2013
LinkedIn and the Fine Art of Connecting
Is it just me who is annoyed by being so often tapped on the virtual shoulder by strangers asking you to join their little friendship circle of 500+ connections? I am fascinated by those people with 500+ connections, I don’t think I have ever even met 500 people, and I went to an enormous State University. Well, based upon my inexplicable, new-found popularity online, I am expecting invites to lots of Christmas parties this year!
I guess this is the modern day equivalent of the networking
mixer, the Chamber of Commerce get-together, only at least when I go to those
things, I can just toss out someone’s business card if I’m not interested in
more life insurance or have no immediate need to purchase brick pavers at
wholesale prices.
At least offline, you can just make polite small talk with
that annoying salesman, sample the cheese and Ritz crackers, then walk away, no
harm no foul – you don’t have to Commit. But on LinkedIn, a request for
commitment isn’t even preceded by the common courtesy of chit chat – you just
get random invitations to form a permanent bond with a stranger, and an
acceptance is expected. If you choose to just ignore the request, LinkedIn will keep emailing you reminders that so-and-so is "waiting" for you to connect, as if I'm really letting this guy down, not holding up my end of the bargain. Oy, the guilt! Bam! It’s the business-world equivalent of a Drive-by.
I recently received an invitation to connect from a
stranger, with the job title of Phlebotomist. What is the purpose of
this connection? Just in case I happen to need blood drawn? (Yikes, I’ve
just been in a horrible car
crash – thank goodness I know a good Phlebotomist?)
I have no idea how this person knows me. I have gotten invites from a random house painter/handyman, a trade show exhibit consultant, of course insurance salespeople, and more…the question is, how did they even come across my name in the first place?Inquiring minds want to know!
I have no idea how this person knows me. I have gotten invites from a random house painter/handyman, a trade show exhibit consultant, of course insurance salespeople, and more…the question is, how did they even come across my name in the first place?Inquiring minds want to know!
The noble mission of the site is for networking, which was initially a great concept – social
networking for the business-minded. It’s a wonderful way to keep in touch with
goings on in your industry – you can follow people like heads of corporations
you’d never in your lifetime encounter on a personal basis, but can tap into
their genius by following their posts, if they choose to use the platform as a
public forum, which many do. I have used LinkedIn’s job search section
successfully in the past, too, and have heard from old colleagues looking for
references (which I was happy to provide).
However, LinkedIn has become more and more lurky, and wins the award for creepiest networking
software as they’ve gotten a little carried away. Case in point, the “People
You May Know” feature. Have you ever found yourself wondering, how on earth
does LinkedIn come up with these suggestions - they've somehow connected me with my tax preparer’s secretary, and suggest I connect with my gynecologist! (I think we are quite familiar enough already, thank you very much) Aren’t we getting a bit invasive here?
It seems LinkedIn’s
sole purpose is finding new and exciting ways to discover more Big Brotherish
techniques to crawl your inbox and determine friends of friends of friends until
they’ve unearthed every potential human being you may have come into contact
with since birth. Do I sound anti-social? I'm really not - I'm very friendly! But I guess I just don't like feeling like I'm on some kind of new marketing speed dial just because I've put my profile in a place for professional networking ...with...professionals...professionals that I know, or at least have something in common with, and who aren't trying to artificially form associations in order to really sell me something.
Every time I log in, I'm reminded or people I'd rather forget. I am inadvertently cyber-mugged by people like an ex-boyfriend, or a nasty ex-boss at the very top of my
“Suggested Friends” list. The system is really “in your face”, pushing these suggestions at you of someone you have bad memories of is really irritating. It’s kind of like suffering from
post-traumatic syndrome, and having to relive the trauma repeatedly over and
over again - a familiar face you’d rather not be so familiar with and yet –
there they are again!
I finally figured out how to hide certain people, the virtual equivalent of my ducking behind a tree, so I don’t have to be reminded they still exist every time they are paraded by me (Yes, thank you, I’m aware!).
I finally figured out how to hide certain people, the virtual equivalent of my ducking behind a tree, so I don’t have to be reminded they still exist every time they are paraded by me (Yes, thank you, I’m aware!).
Now, there is a way to establish your “privacy” (and I use
the term loosely) settings so that only people who can state they know you from
one of your previous employers (chosen from a drop down list of past employers)
or schools. This is based on an assumption that one really has worked for those employers, an assumption that most people are honest on their
resumes, which I assume most are. Well, some are. Well…I am.
It seems to me pointless to join a networking site, only to
hide yourself away in stealth mode; therefore, I allow anyone to approach me
with a request. But I can’t help but wonder – is LinkedIn being managed by some
super-secret global spamming mechanism that encourages strangers to seek out
anyone who appears to have a pulse and invite them to connect? And, if so, when
did that become okay? Am I still living in the Dark Ages where one at least introduced
oneself before asking to go steady?
In our society, we have gone from thoughtful, hand-written
note cards on tasteful, fine stationery, delivered by a gloved hand, to 8
generic words delivered in 10 pt Arial by an email we didn’t even have a hand
in personally crafting, which can be fired off at midnight, from a mobile
phone, after one too many cocktails. The unknowing victim – er, recipient, now
feels obligated to react in some fashion.
When one unceremoniously receives one of these LinkedIn
invitations to connect, from someone unknown, one is now put into
the awkward position of feeling pressured, obligated, guilted into adding
someone that you don’t even know. (By the way, I don’t know if this is a
universal experience, or if only someone raised in Catholic school or a Jewish
family could struggle with such guilt over a seemingly innocuous situation.)
So, before you go off willy-nilly shooting invitations all
over the Internet to complete strangers, please reconsider. If you don’t know
them, and aren’t even attempting to forge a relationship prior to connecting,
you’re a Spammer. I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this.
When I extend invitations to connect, I often edit the
generic verbiage to make it more personalized. At the very least, I change it
to read “Because you are a trusted colleague or friend, I would like to add you
to my network on LinkedIn”. This is a good gut-check when I am about to send an
invite, and I’m on the fence about whether or not to send it. Because, if they aren’t a trusted colleague or friend,
why am I adding them?
For those who think being connected isn’t a big deal, just
remember that, your connections will be notified every time you read an
article, comment on a post, join a group, view someone’s profile (whether
because you know them, or are considering perhaps hiring or working for them,) thanks
to the kind of stalker-like tendencies that, if LinkedIn were a human, would have
landed them 10 to 20 in the state penitentiary.
If you are going to approach someone you don’t know, kindly
put an explanation as to the purpose of your communique beyond the standard
“I’d like to add you to my network”. Yeah, I got that…I’m pretty sharp…my first
clue was the invitation in my mailbox, so telling me that is rather useless and
redundant.
Perhaps you could take a moment to explain why you are sending an
unsolicited invitation, and apologize for the interruption. (e.g. “My apologies
in advance for the unsolicited email, but I notice that we share a few friends
in common/you are a leader in my industry/are in the XYZ group as I am
(whatever, insert purpose of invitation here)… and I thought it would be nice
to extend an invitation to connect”). Now really, who wouldn’t appreciate such
a lovely gesture?
There’s now a Do Not Call list, so that people cannot solicit you without your permission, but to date, there is no Do Not Invite
list. Until there is, we are expected to be open to anyone and anything at any
time because…you never know. Some day, I may be in the market for some
brick pavers...and I think I know a guy who can get em for me wholesale!
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